I am the eldest among your five
Thought not the closest to jive
Am that child that is hardheaded
And sometimes a little cold hearted.
Amazed on how strong you are
We’ve been to many up and downs afar
Taught us how to live this life
You saw us taking our own flight.
Eventhough you can’t feel me much
Being away from your hugs as such
Am forever grateful that I have you
A person that Papa dearly loves too
A mother perfectly created by God through.
A trickle of light was dangling atop a tree
That grew bigger and toppled the nest of the queen bee
Then it suddenly disappeared through the great vastness
Never again seen or ever felt its calmness.
The trickle of light now have travelled
Before the reality that was never been bothered
Roaming around having no other than a straight path
Coming through the front door and past the small bath.
The trickle of light came back
Exhausted from running around the stack
Passed through an old wrinkled prism
Down to the handheld mechanism
And burst unto a figure, a rainbow of Baptism.
Blackbirds flew into the horizon wanting to find peace and to escape the judging eyes of fellow avian species.
Fascinated with depression, sorrow, and fear
To see the world differently from an eye with a tear
It’s not as lonely as one think could be
But not as happy as a child in glee.
Two contrasting worlds now mingle
One sad melody and the other one a jingle
An endless song sung in single
A spark of hope in the ear tingle.
I choose black, I choose white
I choose darkness as I choose light
I choose to scribble down my life.
I choose to live with no more than a fight
I choose to walk down the path of sight.
We can never have the best even the better
We can never have the good even for that matter
We always make a move to take a little bit farther
But ended up in a deep, deep slumber.
We can never have the best, it’s always never good
We can never have the better the way we should
We always make a move to lighten up the mood
But ended up sobbing and relying on food.
I can never have the best and I won’t even cry
I don’t even like the better that you have to rely
I don’t care about the good always in standby
I would like it to be you, can we please give it a try?
This is not new. I’m a self-acclaimed lazy person. You can ask my Mama how lazy I am whether doing house chores and back when I was still studying. But I have to explain for myself 😀
Continue reading I’m Tired and I’m Getting Useless →
What happened to me?
I too keep asking myself why or how did I come to this phase in my life. This thing called quarter life crisis has changed a lot of me, my perspective of thinking, making life decisions and staying happy.
When I was still studying college, I dreamed of having a job who will give me financial stability and fulfil my desires, my siblings’ and my parents’. And after graduation, the eagerness to land my dream job continues. I remember applying as a Landscape artist/ gardener abroad and needed to be in a job interview a day after and did not show up.
Continue reading Why I would not leave? →
I thought this would end at thirteen
But I think seven would be a little mean
It was sooner than I ever expected
A little bit long than the thing you rented.
It hurts a little but not like before
I know I have no right to ask for more
Assumed too much that I can’t handle
Depression, fear and anger now bundled.
I’m tired of waiting, I’m tired of wanting
I’m tired of you always neglecting.
This is the time long been wanted
Moving on to a thing that was once enchanted
Never again my love, goodbye and enough has been said.
The spiciness clasps the mumbly pale numb lips
Held by the hand and water seen dripping down the wrist
Knees crumblling, stomach grumbling upon sighting the beast
Munching the sweetest honey that is only offered by the bees.
The day that I said I Love You is the day that my heart died.
It never beat for another nor sparked life.
My heart died when I said I Love You and then my brain cried.
It poured out down my eye and my lips smiled.